Several years ago I reset my life. Central Oaks Community Church afforded me the privilege of having a six-week sabbatical to do so. Lynsey and I considered every possible thing in my life that may have been contributing to panic attacks I was having. One area of my life that radically changed and hasn’t gone back is how I engaged with social media.
Before this time, I engaged on social media regularly and frequently–often it was many times each day. I had over 1,000 twitter followers and even more on Facebook. But what was happening was that I began to allow my real life to be affected by social media outrage. Issues that occurred online between people I didn’t know impacted what I shared and taught with my church family and biological family. I came to realize that I didn’t have to live that way.
Another way my usage impacted me was that I felt compelled to make “statements” on all the relevant, hot button topics that occurred, whether it was a topic from real life or just online. I’d make comments and statements on all kinds of things. There was a pressure I felt to do this–as if my “friends” really needed me to say things or bring clarity to the issues of the day. I would also engage in online “discussion,” which often became frustrating and even kept me up at night.
At first, getting off of social media was a necessity for my own health. But then, I started to realize that it’s silly for me to be impacted in such a significant way by people I either (1) don’t know or (2) who may not exist.
What I Changed
Two big changes resulted from this for me. First, I got rid of everyone on social media that I had never met in person. I unfollowed and unfriended hundreds of people. Some of them, I’m sure, were real people. Others may not have been people at all, but only bots. May God bless those who are real people but that I no longer have any interaction with. But I do not miss them. At all. I don’t think of social media and my “followers” ever. And I love that.
Second, I stopped making “statements” on all the latest issues. I don’t think it did much difference in people’s lives, and I certainly don’t miss the angst it would give me. Some people may see it helpful to make posts and whatnot and direct those posts to the public, but I have great freedom in not getting upset or guilted into playing that game.
With this new perspective, if I say something or share something on social, I have real, flesh and blood people in mind. I share pictures from a vacation because I want my church family, biological family, and friends to share it with me. I might say something, but I’m saying it to specific people that I know in real life. Social media is now an extension of my real life, not a life of its own. This change has made a significant difference in my life, and I have zero desire to go back.
My Encouragement
If you are being impacted by social media in the ways I was, I encourage you to make changes.
- Spend real time in person with real people and don’t use your phone when you’re with them.
- Unfollow or unfriend anyone you don’t know in real life.
- Don’t take the bait on all the outrage. You don’t have to let the world know where you stand on every issue. No one cares anyway. People aren’t thinking about you when they’re on social media. They’re thinking about themselves. It’s designed to make us focus on self.
There is more to how God brought me to a much healthier place, but this was one aspect.
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