Baptism is something the Spirit of God does in the hearts of people and something people do to communicate what God has done in their hearts. Being baptized is necessarily a public action because it is, in part, a proclamation for people to know what has happened to the heart of a person. And since it’s public, it can come with some fear.
God gave me a new heart when I was seven years old. I remember the night. It was a Wednesday night in April of 1992. My Dad led me to saving faith in Jesus in the living room on Larkin Street in Norfolk, VA. Sometime after that, it was time for me to profess my faith through being baptized. I approached the water as my Dad (who was my Pastor) held out his hand to receive me into the water. But I was scared, so I froze and told him “no.”
Dad didn’t make me, thankfully, so I wasn’t baptized that day.
At some point after that, the time came again. The same thing happened–I was dressed and ready and approached the water as my Dad held out his hand, but I was scared, so I didn’t go through with it the second time either.
Now, mind you, I was seven years old. Standing in front of a group of people for any purpose can be scary for a seven-year-old. Standing in front of people in order to obey and declare something very personal that has happened to you can be even more scary.
And yet, Jesus commands that His followers publicly declare their allegiance to Him whether they feel scared or not. Jesus doesn’t apologize for this. In fact, He tells us in other places that persecution for those who follow Him is normal (John 15:20). The world hated him, so the world will hate us, too. It’s part of the gig, so why not taste a little of that fear by standing up in front of people as they watch you do something that many recognize as identifying us with Christ?
When I talk to people who are a little scared about being baptized, I’m not upset, surprised, or apologetic. Following Jesus is an amazing privilege, but it does mean dying to self. What better place is there to start dying to self than in the action that pictures someone’s death and resurrection?
For those of you who are wondering, I was finally baptized. The third time’s the charm, I suppose. I don’t remember feeling anything in particular that enabled me to finally go through with it. There was no extra revelation from God, no greater sense of peace than before. I’ve known I belonged to Him since that night when Dad and I prayed in our living room. I just finally obeyed in spite of being scared.
Now that I think about it, many steps in following Jesus have been just like that–just doing what He says even when I’m scared. Why do I do them? Because He doesn’t just tell us what to do, He also promises He’ll be with us always (Matthew 28:20).
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